Growing Baby

I want her to stay an innocent baby... maybe forever? Is that really too much to ask? I don't care if I have to be sleepless, moody, and carry a couple of extra pounds for the rest of life if it means I can slow her down. She is so easy to love and her needs are so easy to meet right now. But she's already growing and changing and there's nothing I can do about it.













Maybe it's all about the ease of parenting at this stage. All my feelings towards her are loving and she can't help but love me back:) There are no confrontations, or resentments, and as I well know, simply reaching toddlerhood will bring those! It's all so simple right now: a steady comforting rhythm of eat, sleep, and cuddle that I could live with forever.













I have an uncle who likes to say "Little people, little problems. Big people, big problems." Oh is it true! Of course there are nights that I am so exhausted I want to scream. Sure I dread the next bout of colic or poopy diaper. But in the grand scheme those things are all relatively easy to contend with. What happens when she's five, ten, or fifteen? Even adults need to be parented sometimes:) Right now putting her to my breast provides the necessary comfort ninety-nine percent of the time! With every day that passes we get closer to the end of those days.













She is so sweet, and perfect, and beautiful. I don't ever want to forget her chubby cheeks, big blue eyes, or perfect little lips. I know these recollections will fade as she grows and one day too soon I will stand amazed to think that she was ever so small and helpless. Of course I'll have memories of those special moments spent nursing, and rocking, and snuggling. I'll always remember her sweet scent as I sniff the top of her head. But it's not the same as BEING in that moment.















So far being a parent has been the hardest thing I've ever done. Each time it gets harder I think that I can't do it anymore. But then it does, and I do it, and it is exhausting AND amazing all at the same time. That's why, just this one time, I want to fully enjoy the small things... and this baby is one of them. I have had similar feelings with each pregnancy, birth, and subsequent growing child. It seems to get harder to say goodbye to the baby phase each time. Maybe it's because I sense my child bearing years are waning. I mean I can't go on doing this forever:) I feel a sense of peace about this portion of my life winding down, but also a certain sadness. So while I truly do rejoice in each milestone my children reach, I still can't help but cringe at the speed with which my babies are growing up.

Christmas

Well the big day has come and gone.













It was wonderful to spend time with family, reflect on the birth of the savior, and enjoy "Christmas morning".













Once I reached a certain age I began to suspect that Christmas would never have that same magic that it did when I was younger. However, now that my own little ones are old enough to understand it, watching them open their gifts has become just as good, or even better, than being a kid myself:)



















It's passing is always bittersweet. It is nice to have all the stresses over with, but it is also sad to say goodbye to the holidays for another long year. The kids are off for one more week and we are spending it lazily. We are hanging out, lounging around, playing with new toys, and eating left over pie!

Like it, love it, or can't live without it

Happy times with the family!

South Mountain

There's nothing like seeing a photo of yourself in spandex to remind you that you actually went out in public dressed in that much spandex! I fought it at first but soon learned that it is worth the embarrassment to be comfortable on the bike.

This is a photo of me at the top of South Mountain in Phoenix. I rode from my in-laws house all the way up to the top with my F.I.L the day after Thanksgiving. It was quite a trip. I have to confess it included at least half of my most embarrassing biking moments. It was not my finest ride but I made it and that's what counts... at least I keep telling myself that:) Plus it will make a good story someday! I know I laugh every time I think of it.

Saying Goodbye:(

A dear friend of mine just moved away... by a couple of states. It isn't too often that I make such a close friend and I was so sad to see her go. I will truly miss her, and I plan to do a good job of keeping in touch!

On the bright side, this move is a joyful thing for her brought about by good changes in her life. She has been through a lot of trials in the past few years and I am so pleased to see her happy and thriving!

Love & miss ya Margie:)

Planet Reports

My two oldest kids are in a combined first and second grade class together. Last week they were assigned a planet report, complete with visual aid. I was less than enthusiastic for a few reasons.

First, a planet report (don't forget the visual aid) for six and seven year olds just has a parent intensive ring to it.

Second, studying the solar system isn't high on my to-do list this holiday season

Third, there are two of them! Two kids equals two reports (with visual aids)!

However, by the time the projects were done there were some bright points.

First, those kids of mine did an outstanding job writing their reports. They pretty much did the research themselves, other than a little help using the computer.

Second, they're not the only kids in this family who gained a little planetary knowledge. Rand (4 years) actually came to me several time spouting random facts such as "Did you know that pluto is no longer a true planet. It is now known as a dwarf planet!"

Third, I actually had a lot of fun making... oops, I mean helping make... those visual aids I feared so much.

Next time you see us ask a question about planets!

Tales of the swaddled

Farrah spent much of her first three months wrapped up tightly. It's the only way she was happy. Thinking she would follow the pattern of my other babies I began swaddling her less and less after the three month mark. She seemed to enjoy her "free" time at first:) Then about a week ago I realized her happiness had regressed, and just when she finally seemed to be coming out of her fussy stage. I couldn't figure it out! Then one morning it hit me. I promptly re-swaddled her and she was happy once more! It reminds me... just when I think I've mastered this baby thing along comes another surprise:)

Like it, love it, or can't live without it

Kids who make it nearly IMPOSSIBLE to get a decent family photo:)

Christmas Time

I am getting so excited for Christmas. The older my kids get the more joy it brings me! I am grateful for the holidays because they make me reflect on my blessings, and my Savior. I have had some touching moments teaching my kids about the birth of Christ. I have also had some funny moments trying to teach my kids the "truth" about Santa. No matter how many times we go over the santa thing Ainsley tells me she "just really wants to believe":) I am happy to be so blessed and to have the gospel to bring the true meaning of this season into my life. I am happy that my kids know the true meaning of Christmas and that they are learning to be kind and generous and hopefully starting to gain their own testimonies of Jesus Christ.

I'm not gonna lie though, I am excited about the more worldly parts of the season too. Hot chocolate, treats, decorations, and watching my kids school Christmas programs have been things I've looked forward to and enjoyed. I am also super excited for Christmas morning. I can't wait to gather around the tree with the family and open our gifts. I tried to get them things that we could spend time playing with as a family. I am looking forward to sitting around, eating, and messing with the kids new toys together!

I guess this year I have benefitted from the best of both worlds. I am celebrating the true spirit of the Savior's birth while embracing the traditions that bring me closer to my family. Today is the last day of school for the next two weeks. I can't wait to have all my kids at home with me and just absorb their sweet spirits. Now let's hope I remember how sweet they are when the messes and chaos begin! I may be coming back to read this post next week:)

Instagram

Over Thanksgiving weekend we hung out with my cousin and her cute family. We always have so much fun visiting with them. Her kiddos are the cutest, her house is warm and welcoming, and her husband has the most contagious laugh!

She is an awesome blogger. She is also a master crafter and vintage lover. Check out her etsy shop debsfreckles. Finally, she is an amazing mother and wife. When I read her posts it always inspires me to be more creative and appreciative and to go give my crazy kids a squeeze.

Anyway she talked me into joining the world of instagram. I am now totally hooked. It is so much fun to play with and it reminds me to take photos everyday. Now you can see some of the highlights of my days such as...

My messy house



















My awesome breakfasts



















And my driving adventures



















So thanks to Debbie for pushing my towards this great little app!









Oh yeah... If you have a smart phone look me up.

What's the difference?

My "ode to a journal" got me thinking. What is the difference between keeping a diary and a journal? I decided to do a little research - google style:) There were a variety of opinions but most contained a similar thread. Of all the explanations I foundthis was my favorite.




















Speaking of writing in journals/ diaries... what better place to do it than beneath a beautiful Cottonwood tree!

Ode to a Journal

A couple of months ago I brought this black beauty home. You see, I have a weakness for books of any kind and that includes journals.













Whenever I visit a book store I will inevitably be drawn toward the section that carries those uniquely bound treasures known as journals. I will look at them and touch them and smell them. I will WANT to buy them all, though I may or may NOT commit to one. You see the cost is surprisingly high for a book with blank pages!

If I succumb to my yearning and take one home it may take me a long while to put pen to paper. There is something sacred about a blank page under a pretty cover. At first, none of my thoughts will seem to deserve a note on the unbroken white of those fresh pages. I have been known to purchase a journal and stare at it for months... sometimes longer... before mustering the courage to write. In the mean time I feel a happy flutter of excitement whenever I look at it. For now that is enough I tell myself.

Most of the time I type my thoughts, but there always comes a day, or a moment, or an emotion, that needs to be truly written. Finally my hand will engage in the therapy that can always soothe my soul. I take long strokes and try my hardest to be neat. Handwriting itself has never been a strength of mine. I pour my little heart into each page and when it is done I hide that precious book away until the next time. There's always a next time.

Like it, love it, or can't live without it

These chubby cheeks and tiny hands... I just can't do without them!

Picture of a Cactus

Sometimes when I get an idea for a blog post I write something or download a picture and then save it. I usually come back to it later when I have time to elaborate on my thoughts. But sometimes I forget about it all together. Today I found an old saved post. It had no title. When I opened it I found this picture of a cactus. I don't remember the significance at all. Now I am really curious. What was I going to share about this special little desert dweller... the world will never know!

Apple Of My Eye

"I got a guy that loves me so. He's the apple of my eye and..."

I had a teacher once who used to sing this song during spelling tests.

It was second grade.

Her name was Mrs. Niebrzydowski.

Her last name was on our first spelling test of the year!

Thanks to that I still remember how to spell it:)

But the point is - this little song often gets stuck in my head.

There is one problem... I can't remember anything but that one line.....

It has been driving me crazy for over 20 years now!!!

And finally, I am kind of sad that I am old enough to make that last statement:(

The End

Family Prayers

It's time to say family prayers...
Me: Who wants to say the prayer tonight?
Rand: I do, I do, I do, I do!
Me: Ok, go ahead (we all bow our heads and close our eyes)
Rand: Dear Heavenly Father............................I need help.
Me: You know how to do this...First say something that you're grateful for.
Rand: I'm grateful for my family.......... I need help again!
Me: Ok, now you can say please bless that... and say something you need.
Rand: Please bless dad........
Me: Please bless that........
Rand: Please bless dad......
Me: Now say please bless that...
Rand: Please bless dad
Me: No that's not what I... you can bless dad if you want but what I'm saying is please bless THAT... then say something you need.
Rand: Please bless that... Dad will be blessed. (by this time we are all irreverently trying to hide our giggles)
Me: Please bless us to have a good nights sleep
Rand:........................
Me: (I just finish the prayer for him because we are all truly cracking up now and he won't finish!)

The Grocery Store

Before I had kids I loved grocery shopping. After I had a couple kids I liked grocery shopping ALONE. Now I hate grocery shopping period.

You gotta love these guys even though they made me start hating grocery shopping:)




















A cold metal shopping cart never looked so comfy!

Christmas is in the air

Last night we put up our Christmas decorations. Even though our tree is sort of Charlie Brownesque it has a few redeeming qualities:

First, it is cheap enough that when one of the little ones decides to unplug it and drag it around the house by the cord we don't stress... very much!

Second, it is small enough that the kids can put almost everything on by themselves, and they love being "in charge" of decorating. I can let them have at it while I take cute photos of them:)




















Third, we have all hand made (read kid friendly) decorations. We made most of them out of paper + the ones the kids bring home from school. We learned of the necessity of this "kid friendly" decor when the incident in point number two occurred:) No glass ornaments here for a few more years!

Fourth, even though it is less than sophisticated, and obviously decorated by amateurs, it makes me happy when I look at it. Last night it even appeared a little beautiful to me:)

Guess Whose at the Nutcracker?

Ainsley is! She went to see it in Phoenix tonight with my Dad. He came and picked her up this morning and is bringing her home Sunday night. She was so excited about it. It has been a VERY long week of waiting for Friday to come at our house:)

I took a cute picture of her on my phone this morning before she left. She even dressed in Christmas attire for the occasion. Rand managed to erase the photo mere seconds after she walked out the door... and alas the moment is gone forever:( So you get a photo of beautiful ballerinas instead.

Having her gone has made me realize what a good helper she is, as well as how much I rely on her. We all miss her a lot, and can't wait for her to come home again. She adds a little spark to our family that only she can bring!

The things that pass for acceptable these days!

We have a small stash of Halloween candy left in the house. It's pretty picked over and most of the good stuff is gone. Blythe is one of the few people who know it exists... or who actually wants to eat any of it:) She has been having a piece here and there this morning while the three big kids are at school. She came and hopped in my lap a minute ago and I noticed a stray candy crumb on her neck. I showed her and teased her "you have candy on your neck silly girl". She promptly ate it off my finger! I don't know if I should laugh or be grossed out?

Like it, love it, or can't live without it

I can't live without books. I love books, and I love to read. That is one thing about me that has never changed, and never will.

On that note I would like to introduce you to my library... there is another wall of shelves on the other side too!

My awesome husband built this for me because he knows that ever since I was a little girl I have
wanted a little library to call my own. He rocks and my library rocks!

Like it, love it, or can't live without it

Grand Canyon

I recently hiked the Grand Canyon from Rim to Rim. I read a ton about the canyon before I went and I started to get a strange fascination with it. I guess you could say I became obsessed:) It was so cool and I can't wait to go back and do it again. I hope there are lots of return trips in my future.

Like it, love it, or can't live without it

My favorite bag right now... because I like purple.

Like it, love it, or can't live without it

#8 My home

Like it, love it, or can't live without it

Yes... I have Walgreen's on my list. It's because they employ my favorite guy - you know - the one who provides for me and the kiddos. Nick had been blessed with a steady and secure job thanks to the corner drug store:)

P.S. This picture is of a Walgreen's in the center of Time Square NY, NY. They really are everywhere!

Like it, love it, or can't live without it

#6 The family that raised me:)
We just went on an awesome trip to NY city last month and had so much fun together.

Can't forget mom... even though I can't see her right now I am so grateful for the time we did have. I can appreciate it more now that I have kids of my own.

Like it, love it, or can't live without it

I saved the first five things for one day. There's kind of a theme...

#1 My favorite guy


#2 My number one helper and assistant mom


#3 My sweet and sensitive boy


#4 My biggest but best challenge:)


#5 My baby who's almost not a baby anymore!

Life is passing me by... almost!

It feels like the last few months have flown by! The summer was crazy and busy but fun. Everyone was excited to start the school routine again in August, and now that "stressful October" (as I am calling it) is over I am ready to take a deep breath and get ready to enjoy the holidays with my little family:) My idea to ease back into blogging is that every day in November will be dedicated to things I like, love, and can't live without. It's my own personal version of what I am thankful for... stay tuned.

A Simple Pleasure

I have written before about how bittersweet it is to watch my babies get older. Each milestone is exciting, but also a little sad. On any given day at my house "growing up" is happening. There are so many things I'll miss when my kids are grown: chubby hands, lisps and stutters, cuddles, and tiny voices saying "I Love You Mom".

In addition to this list of things that makes my heart melt there is a second list. It is full of things I could say goodbye to without batting an eye. It includes such lovelies as poopy diapers, tantrums, and a chronically messy house. In honor of this second list I bring you my latest joyful milestone. Three out of four children can now buckle themselves into the car without my help!!!

Even better, the older two kids can open the car door, get in, shut the car door, and buckle without me lifting a finger. The only thing standing between them and total car independence is the child proof lock, which requires me to open the door to let them out. Kid number three need help getting into the car, but can buckle himself. He also needs help unbuckling and getting out, but we are focusing on positives here:) It's only a matter of time before he joins the ranks.




This brings the tally of completely helpless passengers down to one.







If you know me at all you know I hate the ins and outs of the car with my little ones. It is one of my least favorite things about being a parent. I can't explain how wonderful I felt when I realized how far we'd come in the last year.

This is one of the few times I can enthusiastically say "Three cheers for growing up!"

At the end of the day

Lately I find myself looking forward to the end of the day. You know that time when dinner is over, the kids are clean and in bed, and I can put my feet up at last. Half the time I get to relax on the couch with my love. The other half of the time he is still at work for three more hours and I am on my own. So what do I do with these gloriously lonely hours? Well I'm glad you asked. I have developed a very wonderful tradition. First I draw myself a nice hot bath in my giant jacuzzi tub. Then I get some sort of a treat. Next I get a good book. Finally I get in the tub, turn on the jets, and read my little heart out while I eat my treat. I call it a delightful end to a long day! Try it... I dare you.

A short story about Rollerblades

Did anyone else rollerblade as a kid?
I did, and as I remember, it was great fun.
I've REALLY been feeling the need to get out and get some exercise lately.
I hate running.
It just doesn't work for me.
I went to the store one day.
I saw rollerblades.
I remembered that I used to like them.
I bought some.
I felt a little "uncool" about this at first.
Then I remembered that I am an old lady with a bunch of kids and no one to impress.
I laughed at myself twice.
First I laughed because it's funny that I bought rollerblades.
Second I laughed because I cared that it wasn't hip.
Finally I strapped those babies on and went for a roll.
It's a good work out.
It is more fun than running, for me.
I laughed a third time because I almost tripped and fell when I first put them on.
But I was laughing with myself, not at myself so it's o.k.
This new hobby has made me realize how out of shape I really am:)
It also made me laugh a lot which is good because both burn calories.
The End

Helpless

Our good friends got some bad news this week. I've been thinking about them non-stop. I've been praying for them. Somehow that doesn't feel like very much. I hate that I can't do anything to fix things. I hate that I can't say anything to make them feel better. I hate disappointment. I hate pain. I hate cancer.

Their story...
Team Ryan

Harley & Me

Check out my new ride! Wasn't it sweet of my husband to buy it for me? He is the best! I can't wait to get on it and cruise around town:)