For the first time in my entire life I am starting to understand the desire to "put down roots". I have always been restless so this is a new feeling for me. As a child I begged my parents to move out of state. I didn't understand why they were unwilling to pick up and move across the country at my whim. I hated the heat and grew up longing for a place where snow was a common sight. I couldn't wait to grow up and move anywhere but boring old Arizona . I spent my last year of high school waiting for my chance to move away from home. I was desperate to get out on my own.
I graduated with big plans, but before I knew it I had fallen in love and was planning a wedding. I got married at the tender age of 18 and only then did I move away from my parents house. Nick and I spent that first year of marriage discussing and researching places we would want to live. I was dying to experience something new. Nick wasn't exactly opposed to this, but it wasn't a priority. He had just spent two years in Brazil and was a little "adventured" out:) I understood where he was coming from, but my yearning for change was still strong. In my mind only a move could bring me relief.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not completely disloyal to my home town. In fact, the older I've gotten the more I appreciate what a great place it was to grow up. Now I can recognize the features that make it unique and desirable. I feel a sense of home and comfort when I visit that I don't think will ever go away. Even though we've lived away for almost six years now we still say we're "going home" when we plan a visit.
Soon Nick was applying to schools and I was so excited at the possibility of moving far, far away. The ironic thing is that I grew up with a mother who would barely grocery shop by herself and here I was wanting to move to another state and be all alone. Maybe it was just my rebellious nature coming out once again:) Nick was accepted to school and we moved, but it wasn't where I had in mind and it definitely wasn't far away. We were a mere two hours from home. I have to admit that I was discouraged. Somehow I still felt there was something out there waiting for me... some new experience I couldn't get in my home state. In hindsight I can see that there were reasons we needed to remain close, and two hours has turned out to be the perfect distance for us.
I spent the next five years waiting it out in anticipation of where we would end up after school. I was slightly disappointed but not surprised when Nick talked me into sticking around southern Arizona for another three years after graduation. We would be moving about 25 miles away but in the wrong direction:) What's another three years, when I've already been waiting my whole life, I told myself. Besides, sometimes a career opportunity arises that is too good to pass up, even if it's not in the most desirable place:)
So last summer we packed up and headed south. After much searching Nick talked me into buying what we affectionately call the "dream house". Since the first day I walked into it I felt at home and I could picture us raising our little family here. This move felt different. This little town feels good. It feels right. It feels like home. I guess all this time I just needed to find a place that fit right. I'm still kind of surprised that I like it so much, but there's no denying it.
Since coming here I have begun to have a desire to put down those "roots" everyone's always talking about. I wish I had lived here long enough to have established relationships, to know the schools, my neighbors, and the leaders of the community. I crave that safety net of people that is gained from sticking around one place for a long time. The best part of being here is that I actually want all that, and barring some grand career opportunity elsewhere, I can have it. Who knows- maybe there is still some big adventure out there waiting for me, but I'm starting to feel a little like I could take it or leave it. I probably wouldn't turn it down, but if it never comes that's OK. I'm already home!
