Home Again

I just came home from the beach. There is something about the concept of the ocean that intrigues me. I sit on the sand and watch the waves that stretch out of sight and I am amazed to think of the sheer amount of the earth that they consume. I wonder about the purpose of this watery expanse. I go home and read about the tides and the science behind the seas. It gets pretty complex and I don't understand everything. There is something mysterious and risky about standing on the edge where the sky meets the water meets the land. I feel nervous but at the same time this scenery soothes my soul, and my belief in a greater power is confirmed. I feel small and powerless as I watch the surf surge around my ankles, but I also feel the presence of my creator. I am content and more than that, I am healed and my energy is renewed. As I drive away from the shore and back into the desert the feeling fades and I long for it as I always do when I leave its presence. Soon, however, I will acclimate to being back home and it will seem like I never left.

"Hananah Montananana"

Ainsley and I were driving in the car yesterday when we had this conversation.

Ainsley - "Mom, when I grow up I want to pick a different name."
Me - "You do huh? What would you like to change it to?"
Ainsley - "Anana Montananana."
Me - (After asking her to repeat herself about 5 times) "Are you saying Hannah Montana?"
Ainsley - "Yes, that girl. That is the girl that I mean, Hannah Montana. When I grow up I want to change my name to that and then I will go on the stage and talk."
Me - " Where did you hear about her?"
Ainsley - "I saw about her on the TV."

At first I was slightly amused by this little conversation. But the more I think about it the more it actually kind of bugs me. I try to limit my kids TV time. When they do watch I am pretty picky about it. I don't even like them to watch stuff like Sponge Bob. Don't get me wrong I have definitely enjoyed a good episode of the sponge in pants with my younger brother (who is a huge fan). The thing is, it's not meant for two and three year olds. It's funny and there's nothing bad in it, but it's for older kids. If they were say nine or ten I probably wouldn't mind. I feel the same way about the Hannah Montana thing.

The show, as well as the character (don't know anything about the real actress), is pretty wholesome from what I've seen. I, however do not want my three year old concerning herself with this stuff. At this point in her life I'd like it if she was more worried about what was going on in Mickey's Clubhouse or maybe on the Little Einstein's rocket:) I guess my point is that it scares me that I thought I was doing a good job of monitoring what she watches and it turns out that maybe I wasn't monitoring as closely as I thought I was. I don't want my kids to go through life being overly sheltered, but come on, they're still toddlers. I'm making it a point to be in control of pretty much everything they do and see at this point.

It really made me realize how challenging the balancing act is going to be as my kids get older. Let's face it, it's not always going to be such innocent stuff that they're exposed to. I just hope that we can keep an open dialogue about it. I definitely don't want them partaking in anything questionable as teenagers. On the other hand I don't want to be written off with an "our mom freaks out about everything". They're beyond listening to me by that point, or sharing what they're up to for that matter. Trust me I know:) I want to be open enough that they'll respect my opinion and feel comfortable talking to me about anything. So my big question is... how in the heck do I manage all that?

Wow, this parenting thing is ridiculously challenging!

Personal History Tuesday

Well I committed to write something about myself once a week so here we go. Where to begin... well how about the beginning.

I was born at 10:35 PM (give or take a minute) on October 7, 1983 at Utah Valley Hospital in Provo, Utah. My parents had been married for approximately one year and three months and my dad was attending his final year at BYU when I was born. Here is everything I know about the circumstances surrounding my birth. My due date was October 4th which, by the way, was a Wednesday. My mom started having some sort of labor like symptoms that morning. I wasn't born until Friday the 7th. It was long and painful and her doctor was out of town. After much work I entered the world. Even though they didn't really know, they had been sure I was going to be a girl and they were right. My Grandma Brown (maternal grandmother) came to see me and says that her first impression was that my dad had brought me back from Korea (where he served his mission) with him. This means that I had jet black hair, dark eyes, and was definitely not fair like the rest of the grandchildren on both sides.

My parents were extremely poor students when I was born. When I say poor, I mean poor. One favorite anecdote of my mom's is about how my dad actually calculated how much money it cost him per hour to run the light bulb on the porch of their apartment. Then he left it off to save money until she complained about being big and pregnant and trying to go up and down the stairs at night in the dark. On the same note I have also been told that my first bed was a diaper box on the floor that my dad had rigged up for me. That lasted until Grandma Homer (paternal grandmother) decided it was too cold for me to live on the floor in a box at my tender age and my parents borrowed a basinet from my aunt.

When I was nine months old my dad got a job in Arizona and we moved to Gilbert. I guess here I should note that my mom was born and raised in Arizona. My dad grew up in Sandy, Utah. My dad's parents still live in the same house that they lived in before he was born. I stayed in Gilbert then until five years ago when Nick and I moved to Tucson.

That will be it for the first edition of "Personal History Tuesday". Pleases tune in next week for more of my story.