Green Drink

I got a fabulous new blender for Christmas.
I want my family to get all the nutrients out of their fruits and veggies you know!
I started making them all drink really GREEEN smoothies.
I could tell by their reactions that I jumped ahead of myself a little with this intense level of green.
I've toned it down a bit and I am breaking them in more gradually now.
I think it is working because the other day Rand told me that the smoothie I made him was "only a little bit yucky, but also a little bit good too"

Victory... I think so!

Kaylie

My sister is almost 15
She is the best babysitter.
My kids LOVE her.
She is also a lot of fun to hang out with.
She was not quite 5 when I got married.
That is the same age as Rand is now (my third child!)
I am glad to have her as a sister.
She is growing up to be an awesome person.

Birth

I was thinking about this the other day, and I can't believe almost six months have passed.

The feelings I had during, and right after, were so intense it was hard to imagine they would ever fade.
But they have.
The memory is vivid but the feelings themselves have paled.
It is a good thing, and also a sad one.



Birth is a very solitary experience in some ways.
Only while it is being experienced can its energy be truly fathomed.
No matter how many people gather around to provide support there will always be one woman alone with the torrent.
This isolation is alternately distressing and empowering.



Knowing complete responsibility to carry out a task so grueling can bring despair to the very soul.
On the other hand embracing and directing those all encompassing sensations brings with it an unrivaled sense of power and control.



Because of birth...
I am grateful to be a woman.
I know I am strong, and I feel empowered.
I love my body, and I can finally see the beauty in it.
I know I can do anything I put my mind to.

V-day

Lots of love to all my Valentine's... you guys are my favorites!



Thanks for letting me torture you with lots of photos this morning:)

Like it, love it, or can't live without it

I am totally addicted to this drink!

February 10, 2006

The anniversary of my mom's death just passed. I usually just kind of avoid thinking about it when this day rolls around. I feel like I still haven't fully grieved her death. There was so much going on at that time and I truly felt I couldn't afford to break down. I told myself at the time that once the funeral was arranged and over and I had taken care of my dad (etc.) then I would really let myself feel everything.

I simply shut down.

By the time everything was said and done I think I had waited too long to really feel everything and process it normally. So my repressed grief shows up in spurts and starts here and there. I never know when or what will trigger it. It's as if I'm afraid that if I really let the flood gates open I will never be able to recover from it. That probably sounds really weird but it is what it is. I actually think this is the most I've written regarding my feelings about her death.

I miss my mom. It makes me sad that she doesn't know my kids. I try not to think about that because it really bothers me. I do believe I will see her again. That knowledge sustains me, but it doesn't stop me from feeling a little bit mad that I have to wait so long. I also miss just having a mom in general. A mom is someone who loves you no matter how you act or how much you complain. A mom takes care of you when you're a mom yourself and you don't feel like you can let yourself off the hook. A mom is someone you call for advice. A mom is there for you when you're sick, or hurting, or have something to celebrate. There are many other people in my life that can and do step in to fill-in in these situations. My dad has always been especially great about this. Including coming and taking care of me when I have a baby! (Yeah, he's pretty much awesome:) But it's still not the same as having her here.

I have a lot more feelings and thoughts about her, but it is all a little too complicated to face right now so I think I'll call this good.

The Color Run

The Color Run was a few weeks ago and I ran it with my sister- in- law Candice. To sum it up you run a 5k while volunteers throw powdered chalk of different colors at you. The only requirement is that you wear a white shirt.

Here are some before shots...


Candice made up us some sweet white tutu's to wear:) Also a creepy guy jumped in our photo... what the???

I know I shouldn't have taken a photo of this but seriously people... if you think you should leave the house in tiny white spandex shorts, especially if you're an over weight, middle aged man... think again! You wouldn't believe the huge number of people we saw sporting this look! It was worse in real life too.


Other than run-ins with see through shorts the run was a whole lot of fun. It was a pretty laid back atmosphere and was not timed. As the race began we made a last minute decision to go ahead and run the whole way instead of taking it easy like most of the people around us.

When we ran through the "color zones" the powder was a bit suffocating. We quickly got into a pattern of skirting the crowds and hopping in, getting colored, and hopping out again.

After shots...



By the end I had color in my mouth, and everywhere else you can imagine. After showering I even had some lingering green that took a few days to wear off!


Candice left me a colorful seat in my car:) Check out her version of events here.


Overall a fun experience and I think I would do it again.

Happy 10th Nicky!

You are the love of my life. I could not live without you by my side every day. You are my best friend, lover, and confidante. I thank my Heavenly Father everyday that we found each other, and that you took that "leap of faith" with me. The knowledge that we can be together through this life and the next brings me sweet solace, and my heart swells when I think of being with you forever.

Girl's Weekend

I wrote before about how I was excited to go away for the weekend with two of my oldest friends. Well it all turned out as fabulous as I had hoped.

On Friday night I met Jennie in Scottsdale, not too far from our hotel. We had a great dinner and great conversation. We shared the kind of chat I really needed, and it made me feel not so alone in some of my struggles. It reminded me that this get together was way overdue.

Jennie holding Farrah


After we ate we shopped a little and got really confused by the elevator!
Then we went and checked into our hotel.
Debbie met us in later on that night in our room.

I love how these girls snuggled on Farrah all weekend:)



Once Debbie arrived we stayed up until 4am talking! The time just flew by. I LOVE chatting with these gals. They are both so inspirational.

This is my view from bed while we talked.


On Saturday morning we managed to pull ourselves out of bed and we headed to breakfast. I love this photo... it turned out so cute!


Next we decided to do a little shopping. I ended up leaving to go take my Dad out to lunch since it was his birthday. My sister came too and we had a nice long lunch.

For some reason I failed to get a photo of my Dad on his birthday, but I did get one of Kaylie and Farrah. She is so awesome at taking care of my kids!


After my late lunch I met back up with the girls and we hopped in Jennie's car.

Calling to see if we can fit some pedicures in before the salon closes... and to ask some other questions... You know what I'm talking about Debbie:)


Getting my first pedicure. Is it sad that I have reached such an age without ever having one of these? I think yes!



We wrapped up the night by getting a bite to eat "to go" at La Grande Orange, which I have heard about but never tried. Then we returned to the hotel for some good food and more talk. This time we only stayed up until 1 or 2am.

Sunday morning we said our goodbyes, and took one last photo.


I made the drive home rejuvenated, but a little sad it ended so quickly.


Dear Debbie & Jennie,
I'm so glad we did this.
We waited way too long.
We need to make this a regular tradition.
It's so lovely to have the kind of friends that you feel at home with instantly even when years have gone by.
Finally, I haven't laughed that much in a long time and it felt great!

Debbie's Story

Catching Up + Procrastination = This blog post

#1. Saw this, liked it, decided to share... Lose Yourself

#2. This week I want to blog about girl's weekend (1/20), and the color run (1/28), and also my hike up Elephant's Head (2/4).

Three fun weekends + fun things to do during all of them = happiness!

Some of these topics have been waiting longer than others to have their moment in the spotlight so let's hope I stick to my plan for this week's posts. So far so good... I have now written that I want to write about them which means, it's as good as done now:)

#3. Speaking of fun weekend activities... Me + Hiking = sore legs in more ways than one. You'll see when I blog about Elephant's Head.

Here's a sneak peak


#4. WARNING _ RANDOM THOUGHT AHEAD
It just occurred to me that there are not enough options as far as punctuation goes. I think I need something in between a declarative (and boring) period and and exclamatory exclamation mark. Most of my life falls in between these two extremes and I am not feeling fully fulfilled with my current punctuation possibilities... SO THERE!!!!!

#5. Nick + what I'm pretty sure are gallstones = no fun last night!
(That one deserved an exclamation mark. You'd understand if you were there)

#6. Wow, there is a lot of math going on here today... more than I've done in years. It's too much math isn't it? Yeah, you're right. Sorry:(

#7. What else... what else... nothing's coming to mind... better be done before I write more nonsense.

Goodbye for today

Speaking of Nick and having fun...

He is off to the dunes tonight!

I am glad he's going to do something fun... especially since I had a girl's weekend away recently... but it kinda sucks to be left home alone all weekend:)

I do have a few things going on to keep me busy while he's gone so it shouldn't be too bad.

In spite of that I will feel a little nervous until he's back home safe and sound and in one piece!

A boy and his bike.

Nick was riding his bike around with the kids tonight.

Some things you never grow too old for and sailing down the street on a bicycle has to be one of them.

He seemed so carefree as he sped through the neighborhood on his bright yellow BMX.

It made happy to watch him, because he looked as light hearted as as the kids.

Given the fact that he has quite a few important responsibilities I would say he deserves a few breezy moments.

He's a provider with all that entails!

He shares with me the joy, but also the burden, of raising at least 5 children up to be happy, productive, hard working, well adjusted and ready for the world!

AND he has a wife to maintain on top of that.

He does a pretty great job of balancing it all and so I'm thinking that's why it seemed so right for him to take a ride around the block just for himself.

Trevin & Farrah

My brother is a pretty cool kid.

He is 17 now... which is crazy to me!

He has a car named "Charles" that he uses to speed around town.

He has a girlfriend who seems pretty nice.

He love his XBOX and his friends and his Morph Suit.

Basically he is a teenage boy who sometimes thinks himself "too cool for school"!

But that didn't stop him from loving on the cutest little baby I know this weekend.

Just when you think teenagers are nothing but trouble they do something sweet:)

Tonight

This is at my high school graduation with what are probably my two oldest friends. We were all crying so it's not the best picture but it's the only one I could find of us together.

I have known these girls for as long as I can remember... probably from birth since one is my cousin and the other lived down the street from me starting when I was 9 months old! We went through a lot together and had a lot of fun together growing up. We only live a couple of hours away from each other but we still don't get to visit as often as I'd like. Isn't that just how it goes when you grow up and move on with life:(

The good news, and the point of this post, is that I am meeting these two gals tonight for a fun "Girl's Weekend" and I am so excited to catch up! Just thinking about it makes me smile:) Hopefully when I get back I will have a new and better picture of us to share... even if we are ten years older!

They know how to have fun

At my house we have a job chart for the kids.

I fill it out every morning so they know what to do when they get home from school.

Monday was a holiday from school. (The same day that they turned down Chik-fil-a for broccoli because I told them they had to do their chores first)

At one point that day I walked by the job chart and laughed when I saw this! They even erased "Monday" on the side and replaced it with "playday".

I got the message loud and clear!


So let's do a quick recap of Monday (I've only mentioned this day about three times online. Can you tell I'm having a hard time getting over it?)

1. No school
2. All play
3. Broccoli
4. Shattered shower door

All in all, a weird, non-productive, fun, but sort of ended on a bad note kinda holiday! Well at least it was better than Tuesday:)

Seriously!

This is a photo of my glass shower door in a million little pieces!

I spent over 2 hours on Monday night cleaning it up... it was NOT fun.

It is also NOT inexpensive to replace.

It's my bedtime

This about sum sums up my night:)



For a day that started out pretty good it sure did deteriorate!

From about 5:30 on it went down hill.

Why does that always seem to happen on the nights when Nick works late and I'm doing dinner/ homework/ showers/ bedtime by myself?

The same thing happened last week - there must be a connection.

Grand Dreams

I am already getting SO excited for two Grand Canyon trips that are planned for September of this year.

The first is another "rim to rim to rim" since the first one didn't go exactly as planned for some of us. Jake and I are bound and determined to go both ways, and I think I've even talked Nick into coming! I may even rethink those socks this time around:)


The second is a backpacking trip known as "Thunder River".


(Map Courtesy of Bob's Pixel's )

Hopefully I'll be posting here about these trips 9 months from now.

I don't know if I can stand the wait!

P.S. If you are into the Grand Canyon check out this book... It is pretty cool.

Just because...

I have cute sister-in-laws who like to love on my kids at wedding receptions:)

Messy Room

This happens to be a corner of my bedroom, and my bedroom is always the last to be cleaned. No matter how many things get checked off my list on a given day it seems that the hours run out before I get to my own room.

It's funny because I hate spending all my time cleaning. When a whole day goes by and all I've done is clean, clean, clean I AM happy that the house is tidy.... But I also get really frustrated because it can be ruined within minutes by my little lovelies! Plus I feel guilty that I spent so little time with them while I was doing all this cleaning.

On the other hand I also HATE when the house is a mess. It makes me grouchy! I feel guilty playing with the kids or doing anything fun because... well... the house is a mess!

What a vicious cycle!

On a more positive note, kid chores have been going really well here lately, aside from the occasional melt down because someone's "legs are too tired to walk or clean".

In fact, a couple of days ago Ainsley (7) told me she noticed that when we all work together to get the house clean it goes by faster and it is even fun!

I gave that girl a great big hug because she had just made my day. Hallelujah! Something I taught her is sticking:)

The good news is that lately the house has been cleaner, the kids have had better attitudes about helping, and apparently we have even been having fun cleaning together:)

Sadly, despite the fact that I used the word clean (or a variation of it) ten times in this post, MY room is still a mess!

My favorite reference book...

I LOVE the thesaurus.
It's one of my favorite books.
I know that makes me a huge nerd, but I don't care!
I love words, and I love knowing what they mean.
I like the dictionary for those last two reasons also.
BUT, there is nothing like knowing how to describe something in many different ways.
Synonyms are my friends!
And so that is why the Thesaurus is my favorite book of reference.
THE END

Awesome Stuff From Scratch

This is the first of a new installation I am obviously calling "Awesome Stuff From Scratch".

Today we are highlighting Farrah's Christmas present from her Grandma Porter... right now she is the queen of awesome hand made stuff at our house:)




















Now if this isn't the cutest little baby poncho you've ever seen then you must have seen a lot more of them than I have!

Like it, love it, or can't live without it

Hiking (note to self - don't wear a ponytail in photos!)



















I used to hike with my dad when I was a little girl, and I loved it so much. Then when I got older I kind of lost touch with the hiking part of myself. It has been reignited in the last couple of years thanks to my FIL and SIL and the Grand Canyon:)



















Anyway, I live really close to some great terrain and I wish I could take advantage of it more. I leave you with a trail I hope to continue down sometime soon....

Pensive, Pondering, Preoccupied

Please mind, just let me be
Your constant thoughts flowing
Your contemplations never ceasing
I can't escape you and I NEED peace
Please mind be still and let me be

Please heart, just let me rest
From your sorrows and joys alike
You feel so much
Your overflowing
Please heart be still and let me rest

Dancing with Nick

Funny story

Last weekend we were at my B.I.L.'s wedding reception. Nick's mom came up to me and asked for my cell phone and how to work the camera. Then she told me I had to go dance with Nick while she took our picture since we'd never danced together.

I told her that I was positive that we had danced together before. She said that he had just told her we had never slow danced. I told her he was mistaken! I laughed and laughed. I tried to convince her that we have slow danced, but she made us take the photos anyway:)

And we danced...



















The reason why I was laughing so much is as follows: I can tell you exactly how many times we have slow danced and where we were.
#1 at his friend Justin's wedding
#2 at his little sister's wedding
#3 at his friend Sahba's wedding
#4 this last time at his little brother's wedding

The reason why I remember each one of these dances so clearly is because they all... I repeat, THEY ALL started with him saying "You know we've never even slow danced and we've been together for _____ years!"

I can't wait until the next time he forgets our first dance. It's kind of fun doing it over and over again:)