Growing Baby

I want her to stay an innocent baby... maybe forever? Is that really too much to ask? I don't care if I have to be sleepless, moody, and carry a couple of extra pounds for the rest of life if it means I can slow her down. She is so easy to love and her needs are so easy to meet right now. But she's already growing and changing and there's nothing I can do about it.













Maybe it's all about the ease of parenting at this stage. All my feelings towards her are loving and she can't help but love me back:) There are no confrontations, or resentments, and as I well know, simply reaching toddlerhood will bring those! It's all so simple right now: a steady comforting rhythm of eat, sleep, and cuddle that I could live with forever.













I have an uncle who likes to say "Little people, little problems. Big people, big problems." Oh is it true! Of course there are nights that I am so exhausted I want to scream. Sure I dread the next bout of colic or poopy diaper. But in the grand scheme those things are all relatively easy to contend with. What happens when she's five, ten, or fifteen? Even adults need to be parented sometimes:) Right now putting her to my breast provides the necessary comfort ninety-nine percent of the time! With every day that passes we get closer to the end of those days.













She is so sweet, and perfect, and beautiful. I don't ever want to forget her chubby cheeks, big blue eyes, or perfect little lips. I know these recollections will fade as she grows and one day too soon I will stand amazed to think that she was ever so small and helpless. Of course I'll have memories of those special moments spent nursing, and rocking, and snuggling. I'll always remember her sweet scent as I sniff the top of her head. But it's not the same as BEING in that moment.















So far being a parent has been the hardest thing I've ever done. Each time it gets harder I think that I can't do it anymore. But then it does, and I do it, and it is exhausting AND amazing all at the same time. That's why, just this one time, I want to fully enjoy the small things... and this baby is one of them. I have had similar feelings with each pregnancy, birth, and subsequent growing child. It seems to get harder to say goodbye to the baby phase each time. Maybe it's because I sense my child bearing years are waning. I mean I can't go on doing this forever:) I feel a sense of peace about this portion of my life winding down, but also a certain sadness. So while I truly do rejoice in each milestone my children reach, I still can't help but cringe at the speed with which my babies are growing up.